Hey, Mr. Spaceman

So back in 1998 when there was some controversy about sending John Glenn up again at his age and in an expensive mission, I wrote this parody to David Bowie’s “Space Oddity.” Thanks for bookending the inspiration, 2016. Now quit it.
I thought he was great even if Shepard beat him up, he took the space race into orbit.
Here's a western scene: This is a stickup! Reach for the sky!
Space Oddity 1998 lyrics by David Watson, music by David Bowie
Ground Con-trol to Ma-jor Glenn
Ground Con-trol to Ma-jor Glenn
Take your vi-ta-mins and put on your De-pends
Ground Con-trol to Ma-jor Glenn
The guy from Wheat-ies called a-gain
Can you read me? Put your hear-ing aid back in.
This is Ground Con-trol to Old John Glenn
Turn your left blink-er o-o—off
‘Cause it’s been on since you missed that a-ste-ro-oi-d
And the a-li-ens be-hind you are a-nnoy-ed–
He trained Spock, Mc-Coy and Cap-tain Kirk
So NA-SA, have no fe–ar—
He’s the on-ly thing up there o-lder than Mi-ir
Well, ex-cept the hip that got re-placed last yea-e–e-ar
Here am I sit-ting in the ship’s can
Thanks-to fi-ber pillsPla-net
Earth is green, but it’s no-thing I’ve not-seen
I may have been se-cond all a-long, but I’m still in the race
Like Viagra I’m back up where I belong – My frequent
flier miles beat Shepard and Arm-stro-o-o-ong
I got a sen-ior dis-count on the suit And made the Se-nate pay
and I hope my space-walk makes it on C-SPAN
So my grand-kids can all see me wave my ha-a-a-and
Here am I sitting in a tin can, Looking for the Tang
The spaceship’s have all changed, but the planet looks the same
This is Ma-jor Glenn to Ground Con-trol
I’m step-ping through the hatch and I’ve fall-en, can’t get up, but I can fly
Got-ta go now, Meals on Ro-ckets com-ing by-y-y-aye
Oh Ground Con-trol to Ma-jor Glenn you for-got your hel-met, come
back in
Can you hear me, Ma-jor Glenn?
Can you hear me, Ma-jor Glenn, Can you
Here am I, float-ing in my mem-ories
Far too old for this
Planet Earth is pissed, but it’s some-thing that I missed.
(Who cares what it cost to get back something that we lost…..)
(converted from a WordPerfect document: time flies….)

Hey, Mr. Spaceman was originally published on Creative Uploads